Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Starring: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair
I know you're wondering why I'm doing this one (C says: I'm not. I see previews for this movie like four times a day), but I thoroughly enjoyed the first Hellboy. I'll admit it. And if I can admit that I liked Hellboy, then Hayden Christensen can admit that the only reason he played Anakin in Star Wars was by going down on George Lucas. Unnecessary comparison? I think not (C says: What? You didn't see him challenge his acting skills by starring in Virgin Territory opposite Mischa Barton? By the way, who would ever buy into a movie called "Virgin Territory" starring Mischa Barton? Irony). Pre-rating: B+
Journey to the Center of the Earth
Starring: Brendan Frasier, Josh Hutcherson
The title speaks for itself. And I really only put this on here because Brendan is one of many vying to be my husband one day (C says: Ugh you can have him). Call me creepy, but give Josh
Hutcherson a few more years and he could go on my list too (C says: You're creepy). However, this movie will probably suck as much as Paris Hilton on the weekends. Pre-rating: B-
(C says: Thanks to celebritycomsmeticsurgery.blogspot.com for the flattering image)
Meet Dave
Starring: Eddie Murphy
This movie will be a bigger disaster than the Chernobyl nuclear crisis. Pre-rating: C-
Opening July 18
The Dark Knight
Starring: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger (C says: Tear), Maggie Gyllenhall, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart, Michael Caine, and Gary Oldman
Just look at the list of superstars. It doesn't get much better. The sequel to the hugely successful Batman Begins will push Ledger even farther into Hollywood legend. Also, with a supporting cast like this one, you can be thankful that the producers wised up and replaced Katie Holmes with Gyllenhall (C says: Well apparently Katie Holmes turned down the role because of "scheduling conflicts." I guess you can't film a movie while aliens are giving religious guidance to your closeted husband. Although, I do have to compliment Tom. As soon as the crazy rumors started, they replaced the gay rumors. Well done. It's better that society thinks your batshit crazy as opposed to thinking you have refined tastes and dress well). Aren't you proud I didn't crack any Heath jokes? I just didn't want to overdose you with negativity...Oops. Pre-rating: A
Mamma Mia
Starring: Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgard, and Amanda Seyfried
This will definitely be the gayest movie of the summer (C says: I AM SO EXCITED AND SO GAY!!!!) unless you count Hancock for the title alone. An adaptation of the hit Broadway musical, this is sure to be loads of fun, especially with the star power of Streep, Brosnan, and Firth. Add Amanda Seyfried (best known for playing super stupid Karen in Mean Girls) and you've got a hit! Pre-rating: A (C says: More like A++++++++++++)
Thanks, A, for this great movie update. On a personal note, J and C are both experiencing transitions in their lives, so once they get settled they'll continue providing amazing pop culture commentary for your enjoyment.
