Summer Movie Preview Pt. 2

Hey everyone,

Here is A's next installment in his summer movie preview.  Enjoy!

XOXO-J&C

Opening June 27

Wall-E

Starring:  Voice of Fred Willard, Sigourney Weaver, and a bunch of other people

Do I really need to say much?  If you haven't seen the trailer yet, do it now-www.apple.com/trailers.  I live and die by Apple Trailers.  Disney-Pixar hasn't let me down yet, so I'm anxiously awaiting the antics of this adorable robot on the big screen.  Will it be good?  Fuck yes, it will.  Pre-rating: A+.

Wanted

Starring:  James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman, and Angelina Jolie

The action-packed preview definitely looks promising, and Morgan Freeman is always good.  But will this be another Alexander for Angelina?  Does anyone even remember that overblown epic of disastrous proportions? (C says:  That's what you get for editing the gay sex scene out)  Regardless, the spy story, the actors, and the preview are all adding up.  Plus, James McAvoy is so hot right now.  Pre-rating: B+

Opening July 2

Hancock

Starring:  Will Smith, Jason Bateman, Charlize Theron

Well, lets disregard the recent rumors that Will Smith may be a Scientologist (C says: At least he doesn't have a child bride) and focus on the story- a superhero who sucks at being a hero.  Sounds original, right?  Throw in a comedic genius Jason Bateman and foxy Charlize Theron, and you may have two hours of cinematic gold. (C says:  If you get to call out Angelina for Alexander, then I get to call out Charlize for Aeon Flux, because at least Alexander still had gay overtones)  Pre-rating: B+

Pop Around the Planet-Skins

For this post, we turn to one of our international correspondents. L spend a significant amount of time abroad in Jolly Old England, and she has some stories to share. Here is her account of one of the best pop culture items that the Queen & Co. have to offer. Enjoy.

XOXO-J&C

From William Shakespeare to J.K. Rowling, from Henry Purcell to the Beatles to the Spice Girls, the British have always been an unstoppable force in pop culture worldwide. I've been lucky enough to spend the last five months in the UK and witness the juggernaut firsthand. As a pop culture enthusiast, I admit that I was more excited about regular doses of Graham Norton than I was about Stonehenge. No offense, Stonehenge.

More than ever, the Brits are making their mark on the pop culture scene. You've probably already figured this out if you've scanned through your favorite radio stations to hear Leona Lewis on every. single. one. (C says: I would argue that she hasn't hit NPR yet, but to prove that I would actually have to listen to NPR and there's no way that's happening) The diva du jour was discovered on BBC's The X FActor, a talent competition where Simon Cowell judges in the Idol off-season. Sure they struck international gold with Leona, but one thing I've realized is that some cultural gold mines may not ever make it stateside. A prime example of this is my favo(u)rite television discovery over the course of my Britisn Invasion:

Skins follows a group of sixth-form students (the equivalent of high school seniors) as they balance school with getting high, having lots of sex, surviving some screwed up home lives, rehab, seducing psychology teachers, stalking, and creative cursing. It's everything you can't show on NBC, blatantly and unapologetically. Each episode follows a different character, offering a deeper look into that individual's context and perspective, while advancing the overall storyline. The pilot follows a day in the life of Tony Stonem, the cocky ringleader, as he pursues his two main objectives for the night: to get his drowsy, best friend Sid laid, and to sell three ounces of spliff (British for pot) to a group of posh private school girls. Throw in some prostitutes, a guy named Mad Twatter, Maxxie's "Big Gay Night Out," (C says:  This sounds promising) and finish it off by running a stolen car into a lake, and you've kicked off the best high-school series that could never air in the US.  (C says:  Good thing you added that qualifier, L, because we all know Buffy is the best high-school series that did air in the US)

Not that we aren't trying. Some US networks are supposedly in talks to bring the series to America. Now, as much as I'd love to see these kids on my television again, the FCC would NEVER let the show's content anywhere near network TV. British censorship is practically non-existent compared to US standards. Not only are there f-bombs every five seconds in the average episode of Skins, but you get full-frontal nudity in the series' opening scene (and that's only the beginning). Since the series couldn't air in its original form on network TV, an Americanized version would have to go one of three ways:

1. Censor all the objectionable content and air it on network. This would never work, because the majority of any given episode would end up on the cutting room floor. (C says: We all know how lame Sex and the City is on TBS)

2. Re-write and re-cast the show with American actors; follow general story lines but show less of the naughty stuff and use more clever innuendo. While this is a possibility, it would infuriate fans of the original series, and the re-make probably wouldn't go very far. (Remember when they tried this with "Coupling" a few years ago?) The raw energy of the show would be completely gone, and important story lines would have to be cut. A watered-down Skins is no Skins at all.

3. Air the original on a network like HBO or Showtime. this is probably the best option of the three. While the series would reach a smaller audience, it would at least allow that audience to experience Skins as it was intended.

Of course, the pOp/Ed blog does not endorse the unauthorized distribution of copyrighted material, (C says: Unless it's music, movies, or TV) but if you wanted to try and possibly find the entire series at sidereel.com, I suppose we can't really stop you.

If nothing else, please enjoy this photo of Mitch Hewer, the actor who plays Maxxie on the show, as seen in Cosmo UK.

(C says:  This is an A+ effort from L, but I have to say that she really only had to post this picture and she would have earned the grade.  If there's as much skin in the show as there is in this picture, I know I'm interested)

Summer Movie Preview

Here at pOp/Ed blog, we value the contributions of other members who we deem witty enough, sassy enough, and educated enough to comment on pop culture. Today's contribution will come from our friend A, who has written a very entertaining commentary on some of the movies that are coming out this summer. Don't worry though,we'll still offer their sassy reparté. Without further ado, here's A.

It's no big secret that the summer months are the biggest months for the movie industry. All the biggest blockbusters come out during the summer-but they're not your Oscar worthy blockbusters. No. Leave those heavy substantial movies for the spring (C says: Or the winter. That's usually when studios like to dump their Oscar bait). (j says: Interesting. I usually dump my jailbait around that time too.) Summer is for the huge, loud, in-your-face-funny, action packed, sexy, big screen loving movies. Like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. WARNING: SPOILER ALERT. Now, before I begin my preview of the upcoming money-makers, I just have to say that if the new Indiana Jones movie has anything to say about this summer at the movies, then we're in for a second-rate summer. Full of aliens. And everyone will know how to solve everything. "Oh, we're surrounded by millions of killer ants. Wait, I know! Have the old crazy guy hold out the crystal ALIEN skull. They'll be scared for sure!!" (C says: I find it very difficult to believe that you found that scene to be the most ridiculous thing about the movie. Apparently surviving a nuclear blast in a fridge is a more normal occurrence for our friend, A) SPOILER OVER. But I digress. Let's talk about the big HULKS of the summer. And I'm not referring to the remake of the remake that just opened. Let's not go there.

Opening June 20th:

Get Smart

Starring: Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Alan Arkin, and Dwayne Johnson.

Five things: 1. I have loved Steve Carell ever since the Daily Show (C says: I'm guessing somebody didn't watch Evan Almighty). 2. Anne Hathaway made me question being gay once. Once. (j says: unfortunately she was less successful with Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback) 3. Alan Arkin is old. 4. Dwayne Johnson=The Rock. Same Person. Same awesome? (j says: If you mean 0% awesome, then probably) 5. Action, comedy, and romance-the Trifecta. In conclusion, this WILL be good. Pre-rating: A- (C says: This rating is a bit optimistic for my tastes, just because it features someone who was in a sequel to The Mummy. However, I do want this movie to succeed) (j says: I'm personally just hoping the movie ends up being alternating scenes between The Office and the Devil Wears Prada)

The Love Guru

Starring: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Ben Kingsley, and Justin Timberlake

Let's set the stage: Mike Myers wearing a ridiculous costume, speaking in a funny voice, and making fun of dwarves. Does this sound familiar? Although the Austin Powers franchise has seemingly died out, it doesn't look like Myers' familiar take on the cooky characters that he plays has. (j says: also his shameless self-promotion seems intact as well. Three words: American Idol Skits. One reaction: BARF) Myers made me laugh in Austin Powers, but will that transfer? Well, kids, let's only hope that Justin Timberlake can save the movie with his superior acting skills. And in case he doesn't work out, Jessica Alba's tits will probably steal the show. Pre-rating: B (C says: If it were up to me, I would give this movie a pre-rating of a "D." The Cat in the Hat+Jessica Alba's inability to star in a decent movie--and I don't count her role in Sin City as a starring one+Justin Timberlake "acting"+the complete mockery of Indian culture+the incredibly lame and shameless plugging on the American Idol finale=a complete mess. We'll see how things go...) (j says: gotta side with C on this one. Jessica Alba's eye may've been the murder, but my eyes were the ones threating violence during that movie. And JT, bless his music, just doesn't quite make my Black Snake moan on the silver screen. )

BLOGGER'S NOTE: This image isn't actually from The Love Guru, but it was one of the first images to come up when we searched for a picture. We assumed it would be more entertaining than anything in the movie, so we choose it.

Well, that's all from A for now. Stay tuned every week this summer when he'll offer his thoughts on the weekend's releases. Here's hoping that this summer ride isn't one that we'll have to fasten our seatbelts for. XOXO-J&C

The Best Song You're Not Listening To

As a fledgling member of the blogosphere, we at pOp/Ed understand that we have a social responsibility to educate; to leave the world better than the way we found it. That's why we're introducing a regular segment called The Best Song You're Not Listening To. Here, we fully intend to use our nonexistent sway to convince you that you're musical taste is not only wrong, but completely unoriginal. We will then reprogram you to enjoy some lesser known, but no less amazing songs. Except miracles.

Let's start simple.
This weeks' Best Song You're Not Listening To is Robyn's Be Mine!! (first exclamation provided by Robyn, second added in giddy gay delight). You may know Robyn as a pre-Britney of sorts, pedaling amazing Max Martin creations like (Do You Know) What it Takes and Show Me Love, whetting our appetites for future creations like ...Baby One More Time, I Want It That Way and Since U Been Gone (ya this guy is probably the smartest man who's ever lived). But she was quickly swept aside for the girl with the platinum hair and the sales to match. No one heard much from her thereafter. Until suddenly I came across her iTunes page one fateful day in 2005 and noticed she had quietly released a self-titled album. After investigating the album I realized that Robyn was secretly releasing some of the catchiest, most shameless pop music in the post-Teenybop era.

Now, three years later, a slightly retinkered version of the album is finally seeing a proper stateside release. Which means now is the perfect time to find out what you've been missing. Start with Be Mine, a mournful little nugget wrapped in the sweetest sugary coating. "It's a good thing tears never show in the pouring rain / as if a good thing ever could make up for all the pain" Robyn coos over a skittering, relentlessly upbeat backtrack. And i'll be damned if here gentle "i just miss you, that's all" admission in during the song's spoken bridge isn't one of the sweetest, rawest displays in recent pop-music memory. So be smart, and download Be Mine! now. Video below.



If you like this, try: Handle Me, With Every Heart Beat and Konichiwa Bitches; all from Robyn's self-titled album.

Lemme know what y'all think.
~j

(C says: Good work, J. I don't have much to say here except that I wasn't listening to this song before you brought it to my attention, and I'm better off for having heard it. Brace yourself, because I have some hidden gems that I'll unearth in the upcoming weeks.)

Best TV of the '07-'08 Season

Hello fellow pop culture fans,

If you're anything like us, you must know that television these past few years has been the best it's been in a long while.  Scripts are better and more serious actors are committing to parts on the small screen.  This past year was an amazing year for several shows, and we would like to take this time to highlight some of those successes.  Now that the primary TV season has ended,  we will take the time to highlight three shows they loved this past year (a comedy, a drama, and a guilty pleasure) and hopefully you agree with us or you'll be motivated to start a new show.  Either way we win.

C's picks:

Comedy:  30 Rock

Well, knowing J's preferences, I'm going to start with the most controversial show between the two of us:  30 Rock.  I absolutely loved this season, whereas J cannot stand Tina Fey and refuses to acknowledge this show's greatness.  Maybe someday J will be able to look beyond this and watch the show, but I'm not holding my breath.

This show is great because it manages to crack jokes at every level.  There's the savvy political/topical humor, the overtly sexual jokes/slapstick comedy, and jokes that are sly and require a moment's thought to understand.  This is the first show since the late, great Arrested Development to tackle humor so effortlessly and with so many different styles.  What 30 Rock lacks in self-referentiality (this might not be a word), it makes up for in the boldness of its satire.  What other show lampoons trashy reality TV one week, and then references Amadeus a few weeks later?

Another great thing about 30 Rock is the fact that each supporting character is hilarious and unique, which gives the show new layers of depth.  Alec Baldwin does some of his best work as Jack (when he's not telling his young daughter that she's fat and worthless), Tina Fey's conservative and business-minded boss.  Tracy Jordan plays a stereotype while poking fun at the stereotypes that appear in show business, and the dude from Mariah Carey's Touch My Body music video is great as Kenneth (okay, I'm not that stupid.  His name is Jack McBrayer), the simple NBC page who does his best to stay true to himself, even if he is awkward and super religious.  My personal favorite is Jane Krakowski as Jenna, the self-involved faux-diva who thinks she is way more talented and attractive than she actually is.  She's the one who sees a positive pregnancy stick and thinks immediately, "Oh no!  Somebody's going to get more attention than me."  Perhaps that isn't as funny out of context, but if you watch the show you'll appreciate every little thing each character does.  

Best moments:  It's a toss-up between Al Gore's cameo (Somewhere a whale is in trouble!), Jenna's audition video for Kenneth's Beijing application (He can lift almost 100 pounds), and anything involving Dennis, Tina Fey's slovenly ex-boyfriend (If it's a girl, we should name her Judy because I used to boff this chick named Judy and I would love to honor her).  Classic moments.  However, I think the single funniest moment occurred when Jack role-played Tracy's family in a twisted therapy session.  I can't even begin to describe how ridiculous that scene was.  Watch this show!       

Best Drama:

Well, I haven't seen the second season of Brothers and Sisters yet (which I suspect would take this honor had I seen it) and Buffy has been off the air for about four years now, so I'm going to have to give this award to Lost.  Heroes almost claimed the top spot, and in some ways I could see Desperate Housewives taking this honor, but the former wasn't quite as engaging as Lost and the latter is considered a comedy by the Emmy board and I will obey their laws.  

Lost managed to bounce back this season after about a season and a half of mediocrity.  I was so bored with the show in the third season that I stopped watching it.  However, a friend convinced me to watch the show this season and I couldn't have been more impressed.  Lost really managed to save itself by saying, "Yes.  They do get off the island.  However, you don't know how they did it and why only a few of them made it.  Furthermore, why does Jack want to go back?"  As a former fan, my faith was restored in the show and I felt like I was finally getting some answers to the hundreds of thousands of questions that the show had posed.  I supposed the fourth time is the charm, especially since the fourth season of Desperate Housewives was also exceptional.  Let's ignore the fact that the fourth season of The Office was a bit disappointing.  

Favorite moments:  Well, there were a ton of WTF moments.  I think the episode called "The Constant" was outstanding in its concept and the acting.  Desmond has always been one of my favorite characters and his emotional struggle to keep his hold on reality was both extremely poignant and mysterious, something Lost manages to combine really well.  I think the single most stunning moment was (SPOILER ALERT) when you realized that Sun's episode was both a flashforward and a flashback.  Jin was in flashback, and at the very end you realize that he is dead in Sun's flashforward and she gave her child the name Jin wanted.  It was emotional, surprising, and begged the question, "How does Jin die?"  Brilliant.  (END SPOILERS)

Guilty Pleasure:  Gossip Girl

As you may have guessed by the opening line at the top of our blog, we love this show (or at the  very least, we love trying to talk like Gossip Girl).  There's almost nothing better on  TV than high school drama unless that high school drama involves spoiled Upper East-Siders screwing and scheming in a rich, preppy setting.  In some ways the show is just a reheat of the OC, but when the writing is this snide, who cares.  Now, J and I both agree that this show lost some steam before the writer's strike, but it bounced back in a dramatic fashion (more on this later).  Each week I wondered how the show would manage to find new drama, and it always delivered.   Also, Chace Crawford is HOT!!! 

SPOILER ALERT:  Unlike 30 Rock, I can't discuss the plot without feeling like I might be ruining the experience of Gossip Girl for those who haven't seen the show.  Suffice to say, I wonder where the show will go next season.  The Georgina/Blair drama seems to have run dry for now, as has the Blair/Jenny storyline.  Suffice to say, most of the huge drama wrapped up nicely at the end of the season without a gripping cliffhanger.  The only real question in my mind is whether or not Dan and Serena will get back together, but that doesn't excuse a season finale that left me a little cold.  That being said, this show is still an amazing guilty pleasure and I have faith that the drama will continue in the fall.  Unless the CW goes down the tube.  Then I don't know what I'll do.   

Favorite Moment:  As I said earlier, the show lagged a little bit before the Writer's Strike.  However, once the strike was over the show recharged itself with the addition of Michelle Trachtenberg as Georgina, the cunning and manipulative friend from Serena's past.  The single greatest moment came at the end of the season, when Serena finally admitted what she had done.  That single sentence sent chills down my spine and I absolutely had to know what happened.  Although the resolution of that was a bit disappointing, the actual confession was the single best moment of the season, and perhaps one of the most dramatic moments in all of television this year.  Watch this show.  Save the CW.  Tyra will be happy.  

Well that's it from C.  Stay tuned for J's picks in the near future.

XOXO-J&C

Should Have Been Singles

How often do you buy an album and hear the potential for great singles, only to be disappointed when the artist decides to release some craptastic song from the album? Furthermore, how much do you hate it when that single flops and you can't help thinking that you should pick the singles for that artist? Well, we hate it too. A lot. Therefore, we're going to attempt to overcome our bitterness by publicly declaring which singles certain artists should have released and why. There will be some current examples, so any musicians that stumble across this blog should pass the word on because we're right and they're wrong. Trust us.

Artist: Ms. Diva herself, Mariah Carey.

What she picked: Bye Bye.

Mariah had some pretty good success with her single, Touch My Body from her album E=MC^2. Then she decided to release the snooze-fest known as Bye Bye. Sure, the message is touching. We'll never forget dead people. However, she needs to know that she'll never be able to recapture the success of One Sweet Day, which dealt with pretty much the same subject (j says: Plus that one had a key change. Get your head in the game Mimi!). I do think she manages to open up a little bit when she sings about her father

never being able to see her newfound success, but that brief moment of realism doesn't do enough to save a bland single. (j says: ya, singing about your dad missing you rack up your 18th number one single - real human. who doesn't know what THAT feels like?) Furthermore, Wikipedia says that her next single will be I'm That Chick. Now, I think this is a step in the right direction, but she could do a lot better. (j says: wikipedia is now endorsing I'll Be Lovin U Long Time, but I don't think that affects your point one bit) Side note: The "acting" in her video is pretty hilarious.

What she should have picked: Side Effects, all the way.

This song opens up about her destructive relationship with Tommy Malotta and has a killer beat. The chorus is catchy and although the subject matter is a little dark, it seems tonally fit to be a great summer jam. (j says: I totally agree with this one. There is NOTHING i like better than a pissed-off woman done wrong song. Emotional abuse leads to aural pleasure!) Now, if Mariah is trying to recapture the greatness of We Belong Together with Bye Bye, a better ballad would be I Stay in Love. The chorus is stronger and the subject matter is more accessible on the pop radio. (Because let's face it. Very rarely do songs about people dying do well on the Hot 100 charts) Either way these songs are better than Bye Bye in almost every way and they're better choices than I'm That Chick for her next single. Sadly, we'll probably be forced to watch Mariah struggle on the charts until she gets it right. Also, I think she would be well suited to do some promotion that doesn't involve halfhearted lipsynching in Japan. Just a thought. (J says: Other tips for successful album promotion: wearing a dress that actually COVERS one's vagina, and not marrying a twelve year old Nickelodeon star.)

Artist: Christina Aguilera.

What she picked: Hurt.

Remember that time I said that songs about death rarely do well? Well, it looks like somebody didn't listen. Ain't No Other Man was a fantastic lead single from her album, Back to Basics, but then she literally stabbed her momentum in the face by releasing Hurt. Don't get me wrong. I think Hurt is a beautiful and powerful song, but it is NOT a radio-friendly song. Apparently, her label wanted her to have another Beautiful moment during the holiday season. Let's see. What would people rather hear during the holidays? A moving, well written ode to everyone having value or a song about someone dying and not being able to say goodbye? (j says: personally all I wanna listen to during the holiday's is Mariah's All I Want for Christmas Is You, so either way Xtina loses.) I'll be fair. Allegedly Christina's record company forced the single, so it's not entirely Aguilera's fault.

What she should have picked: Slow Down Baby.

I still think Slow Down Baby would have kept her momentum going. She never released the single in the United States, and when she released Slow Down Baby internationally she didn't really promote it very much. Sadly, that sort of killed the song. I think people could argue that the song was too similar to Ain't No Other Man, but I don't think it would have halted Back to Basic's forward thrust like Hurt did. Just listen to the catchy intro and amazing chorus and you'll see why this song would have probably gone to the top of the charts. PS the YouTube video I picked for this song has some ridiculous pictures of Ms. Aguilera. (j says: maybe her label worried about the believability of an Xtina song about NOT being a ho?)

Artist: Leona Lewis

What she picked: Forgive Me.

What she picked? More like what the fuck. This song isn't that catchy and it's a mediocre follow-up to her smash hit, Bleeding Love. The tune is about Leona being unsatisfied by her current man so she's scrounging for another guy, which is such a feel-good message. This song is slated for a summer 2008 release, but I keep praying that she'll change her mind. Part of me blames

Rihanna for this injustice, which will be explained in the next section. Leona, I know your album doesn't have that many strong singles, but surely you could have done better than this. This harsh reality may come as a bit of a shock, but you'll have to forgive me. (j says: oo, I see what you did there. tarty!)

What she should have picked: Take a Bow.

Holy God this song is good. The reason I blame Rihanna for sticking us with Forgive Me is that I have a crazy theory that the powers behind Leona's album didn't think it would be wise to have two singles with the same name on the charts at the same time. (j says: Is there anything Rihanna isn't to blame for? Global warming wasn't even that big of an issue before she became popular. I'm just saying...) I don't know why they were worried, because Rihanna's Take a Bow is inferior to Leona's in every way. Granted, it hit numero uno on the Hot 100, but only because her label manipulated the public and withheld iTunes downloads until the last minute. Anyways, I digress. Leona's version contains the same subject as Rihanna's tune, but it's presented in a much more appealing manner. The sad thing is, if the name were truly a concern, Leona's label could have released Better in Time as an alternative to Forgive Me, and in time we would be so much better off.

Artist: Whitney "Crack is for poor people" Houston

What she picked: Whatchulookinat

This song is crazy. Literally. Just watch the intro to the music video.

What she should have picked: A time machine, so she could go back in time and prevent her album, Just Whitney, from ever occurring. (j says: I personally would've gone with full head transplant, as I'm pretty sure Whitney would just see a time machine as a fancy way to smuggle drugs.)

Artist: Rihanna

What she picked: Take a Bow/Disturbia.

Ok, by this point you already know my feelings on Rihanna's Take a Bow. Her follow-up single, Disturbia is decent, but I'm pissed because of what should have been. See below for more details.

What she should have picked: Breakin' Dishes.

Very rarely do artists have a song on an album that is so instantly likable and brilliant that people recognize it without it ever having been released as a single. (j says: WOMAN DONE WRONG ALERT. I'm telling you, the angrier they are, the better the beats!) Breakin' Dishes is one such song. I think my point here isn't that I'm upset that she's releasing Disturbia. I'm more upset that SHE REFUSES TO RELEASE BREAKIN' DISHES. WHY?!? Furthermore, she keeps saying that this is her next single. Literally, this has been her alleged fourth, fifth, and sixth single only to be replaced by different songs each time. Thanks a lot Don't Stop the Music, Take a Bow, and Disturbia (in all fairness, Don't Stop the Music was a good choice on her part). Will this song ever be released? It's the perfect summer jam and she'll have a guaranteed hit with it. I feel more confident about this song's hit potential than any other song on this list. Please just release Breakin' Dishes already. Also, please let me know if you know the girl that Rihanna is groping in this picture.

Well there you have it (for now). As other artists make bone-head decisions, I'm sure I'll do future posts that highlight what they should have done.

What do you all think? What other songs should have been singles?

I await your opinions!

-C

J says: we're so frickin smart it's a travesty we're not the one's in power. I mean we SO knew Britney's Break the Ice would be massive and look how that turned out. Err, on second thought..

C says: I feel like we get a little leeway from the fact that Britney has never performed this song nor has she promoted it in any way.  I think the animated music video was a sign that this single was doomed to fail, no matter how great it is.  When you don't even care enough to put on pants and lip-sync a song, you're writing that song's epitaph.  

Smokin' Summer Songs

Welcome faithful pOp/Ed readers! Memorial Day has come and gone and June is upon us. And we all know what means: Summertime has officially arrived. And it's not just your white shoes and searsucker pants that you'll be pulling out of storage; that's right: it's officially time to dust off those summer anthems that get you in the mood for some full-on laziness in the sun.

Whether you're cooking up an BBQ, cruising with the top down or crisping the skin at beach, pOp/Ed knows you need just the right tunes to make the magic moment complete. This year we're making it real easy for ya, with our 15 Tunes No Summer Playlist Should Be Without. So pull up a beach chair, pour yourself a margarita and enjoy.


15. Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland - Promiscuous (2006). This ditty about the modern mating ritual helps you make the seamless transition from daytime beach-sitting to late night club hopping. Its flirty back-and-forth vocals are the perfect backdrop for your drunken make-out sessions with nameless Mexican locals.

14. Rihanna - Pon de Replay (2005). These days Rihanna is a dishes-breaking, umbrella-having dance pop diva who churns out hits at a neck-breaking pace. But a bazillion chart-busters later, it's still impossible to forget her effervescent debut. With its almost tribal beat and a head-scratcher of a title (Pon de what?), Rihanna caught the nation's attention immediately and has managed to parlay her summer sensation into enduring success.  (C says:  I think that Rihanna's ode to rain protection is my preferred summer hit from the future Mrs. Chris Brown, especially considering how ubiquitous it was during the summer of 2007.  However, maybe I'm just bothered by this picture because it reminds me of the heinous pre-makeover winner of Cycle 9 0f ANTM.)

13. The Go-Go's - Vacation (1982). Cuz you go on vacation during the summer. Next.

12. The All-American Rejects - Move Along (2006). Pop punk serves mainly one point of existing: providing the perfect soundtrack for when you're cruising through town with the top down and radio blasting. And in this class of songs, "Move Along" is one of the best. Catchy to the point of absurdity, This one has it all: incessant drums, scream-along chorus, even a creepy kid breakdown if that's something you're into (hey, no judgments at this here blog).

11. Beyonce featuring Jay-Z - Crazy in Love (2003). From the moment those huge horns blast out, it's summer 03 all over again, and from the sound of this fabulous single, it was a good one. Although the unimonikered ex-Child of Destiny has never managed to top this one, it's no matter: it doesn't detract one iota from its spastic, energetic charms.  (C says:  I have to disagree with a point you've made, J.  I think ten weeks of domination on the Hot 100 chart suggest that Beyonce topped Crazy in Love with Irreplaceable.  Personally, I prefer her tribute to female empowerment, but that song was a winter release so I can't really argue with this song's place on your list.)  

10. John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John - Summer Nights (1978). If we're talking classic seasonal sing-alongs, look no further. I dare you to try to find someone who CAN'T sing along to this buyout ditty. And who doesn't love some good old broad stroke sexist generalizations about the differences between men and women? I know for me, I certainly can't last the summer without remarking on the demureness of women and lascivious of men. Yum.  (C says:  I long for the days when John Travolta was convincing as a heterosexual.)

9. Britney Spears - Sometimes (1999). Ah Britney. We at pOp/Ed should probably just confess right now that Ms. Spears will likely appear on nearly every list we create because we love her the way all good little gays should. We've loved her since we first laid eyes on her naughty schoolgirl outfit, and we'll still love her when she inevitably exchanges that red leather jumpsuit for a much-less flattering orange one. "Sometimes" is the song of choice for this particular countdown mainly for its amazingly cheesy music video, featuring all the beach-rollicking, white outfits and pier dancing that you can possibly handle. If that's not summer overload, I don't know what is.  (C says:  Nice choice from our girl, Brit.  J and I may or may not have tried to learn the aforementioned pier dance.  Jealous?)

8. Hoku - Perfect Day (2001). I don't know about you, but it's impossible for me to hear this song without wanting to die my hair blond, throw on some pink and have the most super fun law school experience ever. This song is such perky fun that it's perfect for summer shenanigans, like say 3 amazing hours in a hottub.  (C says:  This song reminds me to warn everyone to stay far away from the Broadway version of Legally Blonde.  The songs suck and everyone is way too over the top.  It's as if each cast member downed a box of Oreos and chased it with Hershey's syrup before each performance.  Admittedly, I liked the show the first time I watched it but subsequent viewings, thanks to MTV, have made me realize the error of my ways.  The Hoku song is great, though.)     

7. Justin Timberlake - Summer Love (2007). A recent addition to the summer cannon, only time will tell if this JT chart-topper makes the leap from of-the-moment to timeless. But as for now, it serves as a perfectly adequate soundtrack to those going-nowhere-on-purpose relationships that are all the rage midyear.  (C says:  It would have been too perfect if My Love came out during the summer months, but I guess this will have to do.)

6. Sheryl Crow - Soak Up the Sun (2002). The words fun and Sheryl Crow have never exactly been synonyms, but in this 2002 track, the self-serious songstress finally chilled out and let the good times roll. This laid-back sing-along perfectly captures the giddy laziness of the season. For all those who plan on spending the summer sitting on their asses and not regretting it for one second, this is their four-plus minute anthem.  (C says:  Is it a coincidence that she stopped seeing Lance Armstrong and subsequently nobody cares about her latest album?  That's a shame, because you could win the Tour de France a million times and it still doesn't justify breaking up with Sheryl Crow and then dating an Olsen twin. )

5. Kevin Lyttle - Turn Me On (2004). - If genres were seasonal, dancehall would definitely be the official musical category of summer. The apotheosis of this style is Turn Me On, complete with delicious island beats and nearly-incomprehensible lyrics. From the first falsetto, this single whips by in a heatwave of bleeps and bursts that's so fun it'll have you instantly swaying in your swimtrunks.

4. Len - Steal My Sunshine (1999). This tune is so summerific there just be sunshine baked directly into the beat. Cribbing a sample from Andrea True's slutastic "More More More" proved to be the smartest (and possibly only) thing these Canucks ever did, as it scored them their only massive hit. Their time in the sun (geddit?) may be long over, but we can still bask in the rays of their impossibly shiny smash.  (C says:  Nice use of "cribbing."  Score one for the Great White North.)

3. LFO - Summer Girls (1999). Perfect summer songs are those that explode out of nowhere and then fade just as quickly, so that by Labor Day, the tune is, like summer itself, just a mere memory. No song hits the bill than this track from long-forgotten tier-twelve boy band LFO (The Lyte Funky Ones, you may recall). This Abercrombie & Fitch ad set to music has a hook that's irresistible for exactly 3 months out of the year, just long enough to play in background of some beach volleyball before retiring it for the next year.  (C says:  LFO member Devin is releasing an album this July, with his new band The Cadbury Diesel.  Doesn't this just smell like success?)

2. Nelly - Hot in Herre (2002). Guess what? Summer is hot. No one knows this better than STL native Nelly, who nabbed then-up-and-comers The Neptunes and crafted the, well, hottest summer song in a while. This permahit has stood the test of time (just spend five minutes at a college party at Anywhere University if you doubt it) and is exactly what you need to add some extra nudity to any late-night beach bonfire party.  (C says:  This is a great choice from Nelly.  While I'm on the subject, I do have to say that if Nelly ever samples All My Life for a single, I will destroy him.  Wadsyaname will never be as good as KC & JoJo's pop masterpiece, and I die a little bit everytime I hear that piano intro and realize I'm listening to Nelly.)

1. Bryan Adams - Summer of '69 (1985). If you're attempting to roll in the season without this one, you're doing something seriously wrong. Canada's Bruce Springsteen hits all the right chords with his upbeat, more-than-vaguely disgusting ode to those careless summer days. It'll bring you right back to all those summers spent wondering what a Five and Dime is.  (C says:  It looks like Canada sure knows how to make a summer jam.  However, I'm not 100% convinced they have a summer season.)

What do you think: agree? disagree? What're your must-have summer jams? hollerback!

~j

(C says:  Nice work, J.  I definitely think everyone would be wise to include these songs on any summer playlist they create.  I would also recommend Hollaback Girl, especially if you've forgotten basic spelling techniques and Crazy, by Gnarls Barkley, if the democratic proceedings this year have drained you of all of your enthusiasm and mental involvement in that party.)  

American Idol 7, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love David Cook

One thing that has perplexed me during this American Idol season is the popular notion that this season was boring and that people weren't interested in the contestants. I, on the other hand, feel like there was plenty of drama this season on Idol. The issue is that the show has been going on so long that the habitual drama isn't as surprising anymore. Shocking eliminations (Carly and Michael) aren't as alarming, contestants overstaying their welcome (Brooke and Kristy Lee) is expected, and Paula drama has been done before (the Corey Clark scandal comes to mind...ew) so Paulagate wasn't even a big deal. (J says: Ya, like suddenly it's surprising to people that Paula has no relationship with reality? Puhlease)

Despite all of this, the season was saved by the wonderful presence of David Cook. I'll be the first to admit that I didn't like him right out of the gate. His sassy remarks right after his Top 20 performance turned me off. I've rewatched that clip retrospectively to try and find some reason to excuse those comments...but I can't. (J says: Leave the sass to gays, DC. Let's just say "SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T LIKIN IT") Anyways, I had written Mr. Cook off after that point. I even dismissed his amazing performance of Eleanor Rigby because I thought he was another Daughtry-esque douche bag. However, once he performed Billie Jean and got his makeover with Little Sparrow, I converted to Cookism and haven't looked back. David Cook has the potential to be the most successful and popular Idol since Carrie Underwood and the possibility to be the most likable Idol since Kelly Clarkson (because let's face it...Carrie may have good songs, but there are retirement communities with more personality than her) (J says: DOES...NOT...COMPUTE. Must return to Idol overloards for personality upgrade) .

So in order to recap the season, I have my Top 10 performances and my justifications for each one. I definitely think there's some leeway with this because I found that there were about 15 performances I wanted to include. However, when I narrowed it down this is what I came out with.

List:

10. A Change is Gonna Come-Syesha Mercado

On Top 4 night, Syesha choose to sing two songs that are both on my Top 10 list of the Best Songs of all Time. I was ready for her to screw up this song and Proud Mary by Tina Turner. Well, she fulfilled my expectations on the Tina cover. She halfheartedly copied Tina's famous choreography and did an okay job with the vocals. I think if you rewatch it, Simon's comments perfectly captured my thoughts on the performance. Therefore, I was totally prepared for her to ruin Sam Cooke's masterpiece, A Change is Gonna Come. She blew me away. I was in chills during the song and begrudgingly admitted she pulled it off. For that fact, she deserves this spot on the list. (J says: If only she learned not to speak during judging...or ever really.)

9. Blackbird-Carly Smithson

Originally, I hated Carly. I thought that she didn't deserve to be on the show because she already had a CD and music video and that the producers were pimping her way too much. I always acknowledged that she had a good voice, but would never consider supporting her. Then Top 12 night came along and she hit me with the one-two punch of Come Together and Blackbird. Blackbird was very haunting and beautiful, and her first attempt at a tender ballad. Considering that Top 11 night was generally shitty, this was a shining moment. Additionally, this performance was one of the very rare instances where I found a contestant's response to Simon to be appropriate. After this performance, I secretly was a Carly fan and then was able to openly admit that fact after Top 9, when she blew me away with Here You Come Again (very nearly on the list). You go, Carly. Oh, Randy. Cooliosis is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of and you need to shut up.

8. One Rock 'n Roll Too Many-Syesha Mercado

I have to be honest. I wasn't a Syesha fan for most of the season. After Top 7 night, she sang Vanishing and I was so convinced that she would be "vanishing" during the results shows. I also thought I was really clever for coming up with that super obvious pun. I even thought Kristy Lee should have stayed instead of her (Don't stone me!) (J says: We almost-like KLC and we're not afraid to say it!). Basically, she had to do a complete 180 on Top 6 night. She definitely did. With this sassy performance, she eliminated my biggest concern with her: that she hadn't shown any personality before Top 6 night. Well ok, she did: she showed the personality of a frigid bitch. I guess that counts as a form of personality. ANYWAYS she changed my mind with this. It was fun, flirty, and remains the Syesha performance I rewatch the most. Well done. Side note: Could the judges have been more obvious about their desire to see her on Broadway? I think that's sort of the biggest backhanded compliment on the show.

7. I Hate Myself For Loving You-Amanda Overmyer

Coming out of the auditions, Amanda was my favorite contestant. She was so different from anything that we had ever see on the show, and she seemed genuinely talented. With the exception of one super-doody performance on Top 20 night, she delivered consistently. Her shining moment was her cover of this forgotten Joan Jett song. She rocked it, and her rough voice was perfect on this number. I always knew she would never win, but I still lament the fact that she didn't make Top 10 and won't go on the tour. PS her fiancé is hot. (J says: here's one we'll just have to agree to disagree about. Although I am glad she made the Top 12 because seeing her utterly pained expression during the overly-choreographed finale numbers will go down as most enjoyable moment(s) of the whole season).

6. Come Together-Carly Smithson

As I said before, Carly won me over with her one-two punch on the Top 12 and Top 11 nights. I can still remember watching this performance over and over on Tivo, blown away by how cool and powerful it was. This is when Simon dropped the "Kelly Clarkson" bomb and I was excited because it seemed like Carly finally understood what she needed to do to succeed in this competition. (J says: Simon also dropped the KC bomb on Katharine McPhee, and then she dropped her self-titled bomb all over my life. Just for a reality check.) Although she blew it with Total Eclipse of the Heart and The Show Must Go On, this performance represents a brief time when Carly was at the top of her game and actually posed a threat to the David-David finale everyone was expecting. Unfortunately, she seemed to recapture her former glory with Superstar when it was too late for her to avoid elimination. Lame. I do have to say that her blouse was hideous during Come Together and Simon's comment on Top 9 night about her not looking like a star was totally justified, albeit a bit rude.

5. It's All Wrong, but It's All Right-Michael Johns

This performance was the single sexiest/hottest thing of the season. Holy God he turned me on here. I think that represents about 90% of why this performance is on the list, and the rest of the justification comes from the fact that this song was the one time that Michael best connected with the type of record he should make as an artist. I'm fairly certain that he got Dolly Parton hot and bothered. Unfortunately the episode was running long and he went last, otherwise we could have heard Paula say something more drawn out and awkwardly sexual to him. UGH SO HOT. (J says: And can I just add that Dolly Parton was an amazing choice of guest judge, but she disappointed by not a) humping any of the contestants, b) making hilarious remarks about her own trashiness or c) making horrifically inappropriate comments about any of the contestants bustsizes. Just throwing that out there.)

4. Hallelujah-Jason Castro

Aside from that last note, this performance was one of those magical moments where I was totally connected to the performer and the emotion of the song. This performance reminds me a little bit of Summertime from Season 3 in the sense that people either felt the performance or they absolutely did not and therefore its merit was debated. (J says: who could you possibly be talking about *ahem*) However, the Jeff Buckley version of the song went to the top of iTunes. People said that it was because of Simon Cowell's appreciation for the song. However, he frequently says he loves songs and they don't climb the charts. As someone who downloaded the song after Top 16 night, I can safely say it was because I was moved by Jason's version and had to have the original. However, Simon pointed me in the direction of Jeff Buckley so I downloaded that version. What I'm trying to say is that Jason influenced my decision to get the song because of his performance. Too bad he has those terrible dreads otherwise I think he would be really good looking.

3. Imagine-David Archuleta

I don't really feel like I need to say a whole lot here. This performance was beautiful and brilliant. There was a time when I was all about David Archuleta winning, and I think this performance occurred during the peak of my obsession with him. Sadly, he followed the Melinda Doolittle School of Idol and peaked way too early and followed the Semifinals with a series of performances that were technically good (unless he forgot the lyrics) but very bland. I think some calculated growth would have helped his chances of winning. PS why the hell did he sing Imagine on Top 20 night when he could have easily sang it on Top 11 night? It would have helped him avoid peaking too early. (J says: because I'm sure Poppaleta informed him that he could either sing that song then or spend the next 7 weeks in the basement peeing into a cup. Just a guess.)

2. Billie Jean-David Cook

1. Always Be My Baby-David Cook

Cook is bold, intelligent, and takes great pop songs and does amazing arrangements of them. It doesn't hurt that he has a voice that can be powerful and tender in the same verse. He cares about his fans and the other contestants. I think I'm a little obsessed with him. if this list were more subjective, I would have several more David Cook performances on here. However, I decided to be a bit objective and just place these two songs at the top. With Billie Jean, Cook announced his claim to the American Idol title and with Always Be My Baby he sealed the deal. I read online (which makes it sound like it was a really reliable source haha) that if iTunes reported the sales of Idol songs during the season, Always Be My Baby would have shot straight to number one and would have been one of, if not the biggest selling Idol download of the season (aside from the winning single). I am so absolutely thrilled that he won this season and I'm very excited for his debut album. (J says: and it certainly doesn't hurt that he's bangworthy. Excuse me while I go watch his Guitar Hero commercial again...and again...and again.)

There you have my list. Feel free to post your reactions to this list/season in the comments section!

-C

J says: Good list C. I'm just shocked that Brooke didn't make any appear-- I'm sorry, can I start over?