Summer Movie Preview

Here at pOp/Ed blog, we value the contributions of other members who we deem witty enough, sassy enough, and educated enough to comment on pop culture. Today's contribution will come from our friend A, who has written a very entertaining commentary on some of the movies that are coming out this summer. Don't worry though,we'll still offer their sassy reparté. Without further ado, here's A.

It's no big secret that the summer months are the biggest months for the movie industry. All the biggest blockbusters come out during the summer-but they're not your Oscar worthy blockbusters. No. Leave those heavy substantial movies for the spring (C says: Or the winter. That's usually when studios like to dump their Oscar bait). (j says: Interesting. I usually dump my jailbait around that time too.) Summer is for the huge, loud, in-your-face-funny, action packed, sexy, big screen loving movies. Like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. WARNING: SPOILER ALERT. Now, before I begin my preview of the upcoming money-makers, I just have to say that if the new Indiana Jones movie has anything to say about this summer at the movies, then we're in for a second-rate summer. Full of aliens. And everyone will know how to solve everything. "Oh, we're surrounded by millions of killer ants. Wait, I know! Have the old crazy guy hold out the crystal ALIEN skull. They'll be scared for sure!!" (C says: I find it very difficult to believe that you found that scene to be the most ridiculous thing about the movie. Apparently surviving a nuclear blast in a fridge is a more normal occurrence for our friend, A) SPOILER OVER. But I digress. Let's talk about the big HULKS of the summer. And I'm not referring to the remake of the remake that just opened. Let's not go there.

Opening June 20th:

Get Smart

Starring: Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Alan Arkin, and Dwayne Johnson.

Five things: 1. I have loved Steve Carell ever since the Daily Show (C says: I'm guessing somebody didn't watch Evan Almighty). 2. Anne Hathaway made me question being gay once. Once. (j says: unfortunately she was less successful with Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback) 3. Alan Arkin is old. 4. Dwayne Johnson=The Rock. Same Person. Same awesome? (j says: If you mean 0% awesome, then probably) 5. Action, comedy, and romance-the Trifecta. In conclusion, this WILL be good. Pre-rating: A- (C says: This rating is a bit optimistic for my tastes, just because it features someone who was in a sequel to The Mummy. However, I do want this movie to succeed) (j says: I'm personally just hoping the movie ends up being alternating scenes between The Office and the Devil Wears Prada)

The Love Guru

Starring: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Ben Kingsley, and Justin Timberlake

Let's set the stage: Mike Myers wearing a ridiculous costume, speaking in a funny voice, and making fun of dwarves. Does this sound familiar? Although the Austin Powers franchise has seemingly died out, it doesn't look like Myers' familiar take on the cooky characters that he plays has. (j says: also his shameless self-promotion seems intact as well. Three words: American Idol Skits. One reaction: BARF) Myers made me laugh in Austin Powers, but will that transfer? Well, kids, let's only hope that Justin Timberlake can save the movie with his superior acting skills. And in case he doesn't work out, Jessica Alba's tits will probably steal the show. Pre-rating: B (C says: If it were up to me, I would give this movie a pre-rating of a "D." The Cat in the Hat+Jessica Alba's inability to star in a decent movie--and I don't count her role in Sin City as a starring one+Justin Timberlake "acting"+the complete mockery of Indian culture+the incredibly lame and shameless plugging on the American Idol finale=a complete mess. We'll see how things go...) (j says: gotta side with C on this one. Jessica Alba's eye may've been the murder, but my eyes were the ones threating violence during that movie. And JT, bless his music, just doesn't quite make my Black Snake moan on the silver screen. )

BLOGGER'S NOTE: This image isn't actually from The Love Guru, but it was one of the first images to come up when we searched for a picture. We assumed it would be more entertaining than anything in the movie, so we choose it.

Well, that's all from A for now. Stay tuned every week this summer when he'll offer his thoughts on the weekend's releases. Here's hoping that this summer ride isn't one that we'll have to fasten our seatbelts for. XOXO-J&C